When did you first join Swinburne FC?
2023

What’s your favourite footballing memory?
Playing: Scoring three for Wagga United in torrential rain and then eating Chinese food from the restaurant inside the golf club next door with my mum and brother.

Who is the all-time best Swinburne FC player, in your opinion?
There is more to football than just goals and assists, and no one made the game look more beautiful and effortless than Thomas Yeardley.

If you could invite three people (dead or alive) to a dinner party, who would they be?
Tiger Woods, Sofia Vergara, and Lee Harvey Oswald.

What’s your favourite sports team?
Sydney Swans, Melbourne Victory, and the mighty Wests Tigers.

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan in winter is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, so I’d love to go back. However, if anyone from the Visa office in India is reading this and processing my Visa application—then definitely India. I love India (Bharat). The people of Bharat are beautiful, kind, and caring. The country and culture are incredible, and Narendra Modi is a wonderful leader.

What’s your favourite way to unwind?
Golf—although nothing in the world makes me angrier or destroys my self-worth and belief more than golf, so maybe it does the complete opposite for me.

Who’s the funniest person at Swinburne FC?
Definitely our fantastic coaches: Joel Kleber, Nathan Gorga, Harry Lawrence, and the unnamed 3rds coach. Not only are they funny, but they are also extremely dedicated, passionate, and incredibly inspiring to me.

VAR in Sunday League: yes or no?
Let’s start with finding qualified referees who can move outside the centre circle.

Describe Swinburne FC in three words.
This is gutter journalism, and I refuse to answer this. Knowing your attention span, you’re likely not even reading at this point, so I can say whatever I want.

Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone in the JFK assassination.
Our treasurer Jono is embezzling funds from the club.
Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 was hidden away and reintroduced as Flight MH17 later the same year in order to be shot down over Ukraine for political purposes.
Laurence Song used to tie his watch to Nutty (his dog) to fake runs on Strava.